Often our expectations are not met the way we think. Learning to be more open with the expectations you have of others, of yourself, and of life will bring you more peace.”
8 important tips
1. Release your emotional energy
2. Be patient
3. Decide what you will do next
4. Learn lessons
5. Get perspective on setbacks
6. Be kind to yourself
7. Adjust your expectations
8. Re-evaluate your success criteria
By Olivia Parkinson
At some point in your life, things are going to go wrong. And by "wrong" we mean really wrong. You may be floating happily, and suddenly a disaster comes out of nowhere like a freight train. Someone could die, your marriage could fall apart, or you could discover that you are terminally disabled.
When life knocks you down, it helps if you have a model for how to respond.Things are not always going to be great, going exactly as you would like. The important thing is to know what to do next. In this post, we're going to take a look at some of the faith-based tools you can use to come back from one of life's disasters even stronger than before.
Find a way to release your emotional energy
When disaster strikes, many people reach out, unable to really face what happened to them. They bottle up their feelings, hoping that the emotional energy will eventually wear off. It rarely does.
Common emotions include pain, frustration, sadness, and anger. Some people may also feel confused, not understanding how something so tragic could hit them.
Dealing with extremes of emotionit is always challenging. But the key here is to allow them to vent. If you don't let them get up, they will turn around and find other ways out.
Healthy processing usually involves talking to a counselor. You can also calmly meditate on the Word,remembering what your faith says about life, death and eternity.
Remember that death is not the last word. It is not the end of the story. Also remember that failure is not fatal. Even if things seem to be falling apart in your life, old endings often become new beginnings. One blends perfectly with the other.
When things go wrong, you can experience many of the emotions described above. You may feel frustrated, angry, sad, depressed, or confused. It's all normal.
Unfortunately, these emotions can become a source of further pain if we aren't kind to ourselves. We may feel that we need to be strong or for some other reason not accept these feelings, and this can become a self-attack. We can ask aggressivelyWhywe feel so bad and we use it to call ourselves "weak".
The trick here is to be patient with yourself. No rush. Don't feel like you have to force yourself to suddenly feel better. Instead, allow your emotions to play out naturally without judging them. Don't let your mind make the situation worse than it already is. Just accept that being a human being often comes with strong feelings of emotions. And that's fine.
Remember, not even the smartest people can make their way through life and succeed at everything they do. Many remain hidden buds that do not rush to mature early.
Decide what you will do next
When it comes to life's disasters, you have three options: let it go, try again, or turn around.
If you are looking for the people you love incoffinsso there's not much to do. It's time to let it go.
Likewise, if a relationship is over, you've tried every reasonable solution, and there's no way to save it (for example, because a partner cheated on you and you now live with someone else), again, it's time for new horizons.
However, sometimes letting go is not necessary. In many cases, you can simply try again.
For example, let's say your first business doesn't work out. No matter. Nothing prevents you from starting over and trying something new.
Or, if your love life is a mess and a date doesn't go your way, you don't necessarily have to give up. There are always more opportunities to meet someone with whom you can have a connection.
If you feel like you're hitting your head against a brick wall but you're interested in your direction, it's time for a turn. By turning, you are accepting a slight course correction, but you are still putting your all into whatever project you want to complete. You're not giving up, just approaching problems from a slightly different angle.
When things go wrong, there's usually a lesson you can learn. Instead of blaming others or getting depressed, be realistic about your failures and what you can do to improve next time.
Let's say, for example, thatyou lost your job🇧🇷 Is it entirely your boss's fault? Or could he have done something to prevent the company from going under?
If your marriage failed, was it entirely your spouse's fault because you had an affair? Or could she have behaved better and added more value to her partner's life?
Being honest about your limitations is never nice. However, it is a powerful tool to prevent the same situations from occurring in the future.
Don't see setbacks as part of your character.
No successful person in history has drawn a straight line from mediocrity to abundance. Virtually everyone who was anybody had to fight through pain to get to the top. Most failed along the way. And some people who might have been successful were unlucky, and we never heard of them.
Setbacks and failures don't mean you're not worthy or good enough. Rather, it just means something went wrong with your plan. It is not personal. The universe is not like that.
Just keep track of your goals and think about what's important to you. If peace and quiet are the things dearest to your heart, it doesn't matter if you don't have financial success or if your relationships don't work out the way you hoped. Everything's fine.
be kind to yourself
Most people are their own worst enemies. They are self-critical, even more so than the people who hate them. Over time, these negative thoughts can drag you down, making you feel like a bad person.
Being kind to yourself is more of a skill than you might think. Our brains didn't evolve to make us happy; they evolved to help us survive. So if you're feeling down or engaging in negative self-talk, it's just that your biology is working against you.
The internal engineering process is letting go of all that and using your mind to benefit yourself. People with the ability can becomefeel happy in command, changing their status, making it much easier for them to successfully navigate the world.
If you are blaming yourself, ask yourself why. Is this necessary? Life is too short to spend it in a state of internal pain. Find ways to use your negative experiences to grow and adjust as a person. If you follow the path of growth, you will come out on the other side a happier and healthier human being.
stop expecting so much from life
Many people believe that they need to have everything in life to be satisfied. But the truth is that this rarely happens. There are many people with millions of dollars and loving families who are unhappy. Robin Williams is a good example. The Hollywood actor was respected by his peers, he had millions of loving fans and a lot of money in the bank, and yet, due to his inner state, he ended up committing suicide. That is the kind of existence you want to avoid. If he's successful and still not happy, then something in his life went wrong somehow and it's time to fix it.
Don't expect too much from life. Many of the things that you think your existence needs are just things that other people have told you that you should have. When you learn to focus on your center, you realize that life itself is enough. When you're happy to be here, everything else is a bonus.
Remember that our expectations are often not met the way we think. You are probably not in a relationship with the person you hoped to have. You probably don't have the job you thought you would. Your finances are unlikely to be what you predicted. all in yourlife is in a constant state of chaosand flow, so what's the point of having rigid expectations that you can't meet? Learning to be more open with the expectations you have of others, of yourself, and of your life will bring you more peace.
Re-evaluate your success criteria
Think carefully about what success means to you personally. Not what it means to other people, but the form it takes for you.
When difficulties arise in life, we quickly come to the conclusion that we are failures. It's incredibly easy to do. But try to see your life more holistically. Ask yourself if your inner dialogue is really fair.
Suppose, for example, that you develop romantic feelings for a friend, but they don't feel the same way. Everything's fine. This happens all the time. It's a situation you can work on. Just because they don't like you, someone else will.
Life is not an all or nothing game. There are always hidden mercies in everything that happens to us. It's just a matter of finding them.
Some examples of spiritual bypassing include: Avoiding feelings of anger. Believing in your own spiritual superiority as a way to hide from insecurities. Believing that traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or that there is a silver lining behind every negative experience.How do you know if you have a spiritual problem? ›
losing touch with your faith. “forgetting” God, or struggling to find time for spiritual study. focusing more on past mistakes than changes you might make to do better in the future. a general sense of unhappiness or melancholy.What is the meaning of spiritual pain? ›
Spiritual pain is described in NANDA (1994:49) as the “disruption in the principle which pervades a person's entire being and which integrates and transcends one's biological and psychosocial nature.”What is spiritual stress? ›
Spiritual distress occurs when a person is no longer able to find meaning, peace, comfort, strength, or connection in life. It's natural for individuals who have been diagnosed with a terminal illness or who are experiencing great physical or emotional pain to question their beliefs.How do you deal with spiritual setbacks? ›
- Don't Get Discouraged. God knows that we can't handle what we are facing alone, and He never intended for us to carry the burdens of this life. ...
- Shift Your Focus. ...
- Take Care of Yourself.
The belief that your spiritual wisdom makes you more special than others is also known as spiritual narcissism. It can be used to shield yourself from criticism, to impress others, or to enhance your-self-esteem and feel good about yourself.How can overcome spiritual distress? ›
- Recognize the signs of spiritual distress. ...
- Accept that things will be different. ...
- Find good listeners. ...
- It's okay to say no. ...
- Help yourself by helping others. ...
- Take care of yourself. ...
- Seek support.
According to the conceptual analysis, major characteristics of spiritual distress included physical expression, psychological expression, loss of love and good relationship, loss of self-esteem, loss of meaning and purpose of life, and loss of inner strength.How do you know you are progressing spiritually? ›
If you are becoming more kind, more self-giving, more calm, you may be sure that you are progressing whether you see visions or not. If you are succeeding in relinquishing your likes and dislikes, and are learning to accept even-mindedly whatever experiences life sends you, then you have much cause for rejoicing.What is the spiritual purpose of suffering? ›
Suffering as a Tool of Sanctification
Suffering causes our focus to turn inward, to face those parts of ourselves we might otherwise ignore. God can use suffering then to develop us into better people: the people who can love and enjoy Him forever (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4).
Suffering conforms us into God's image (Romans 8:28-29).
While He can and does redeem pain in our lives, these verses speak of being conformed to God's image through our suffering.
- Bring your pain to God don't run from him. ...
- Fill your life with God's Word and God's people. ...
- Don't be filled with worry, overflow with worship. ...
- Believe that God will turn your sorrow into great joy.
Spiritual coping can consist of behaviors (e.g., praying), but can also take the form of thoughts (e.g., remembering that God is by one's side through a crisis), feelings (e.g., experiencing emotional intimacy within one's religious community), or attitudes (e.g., trusting in a larger spiritual plan for one's life).How do you calm anxiety spiritually? ›
Spiritual practices like prayer or meditation can help you quiet the mind and focus on the present so you can let go of the negative chatter that's fueling your anxiety. You'll feel a sense of purpose. Cultivating your spirituality can help you uncover what's most important in your life.What is trauma spiritually? ›
Spiritual trauma occurs as a result of events that threaten and damage our core spiritual values and goals. This can be a result of either abuse by religious/spiritual figures or being raised with a toxic and overbearing interpretation of that religion or spiritual belief.How do you react to setbacks and disappointments? ›
- Experience your emotions. ...
- Accept reality. ...
- Shift your perspective. ...
- Move from “no” to “not yet” ...
- Revisit your goals. ...
- Stay open.
The spirit of stagnation is a stubborn spirit, it does not disappear on his own, you have to pray aggressively to get it out of your life. You need to pray all the 400 prayer points in this book for you to be free. As you pray The good Lord will end spirit of stagnation in your life.How do I overcome mental setbacks? ›
- Acknowledge and accept responsibility. ...
- Set a time limit for disappointment. ...
- Avoid emotions and concentrate on information. ...
- Regain control. ...
- Don't make failure an option.
It's often used when we challenge toxic behaviors or ideas. Rather than respond to the challenge, the recipient will turn it around, question your motives, and encourage you to doubt your reality, using your anger as their evidence. Feeling anger is not harmful. Neither is sharing that we feel it.What does God say about narcissistic behavior? ›
1 Corinthians 7: 15 tells us that if an unbeliever (this includes a narcissist [you can read my article about whether someone is a believer here]) can't live with you in peace, then let them live without you.
Narcissistic spiritual leaders have twisted, toxic faith and an inflated view of their own worth. They abuse their influence and power by inflicting spiritual harm on others. Your narcissistic spiritualist, for example, may use spiritual wisdom to control and humiliate you rather than inspire and reassure you.How do you deal with spiritual trauma? ›
Breathwork, meditation, dance, yoga, and other physical exercises are all great ways to process stored trauma in the body. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) While we know that one cannot just think away trauma, reaching out to talk with a mental health counselor is always a good step in the healing journey.How do you deal with godly stress? ›
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." The Good News: If you use prayer as a means for comfort, God will provide you with peace of mind. Be sure to thank Him once your worries subside.How do you get spiritual comfort? ›
- Practice Yoga. ...
- Meditate. ...
- Try Mindful Walking. ...
- Clear Your Space. ...
- Connect with Community. ...
- Journal. ...
- Read Inspiring Material. ...
- Be in Nature.
Seven manifestations of spiritual distress
The diagnosis of spiritual distress is defined by indicators that are present: spiritual pain, spiritual alienation, spiritual anxiety, spiritual guilt, spiritual loss, and spiritual despair.
- Practicing meditation or yoga.
- Praying or taking part in organized religion.
- Spending quiet time alone pondering the meaning of life.
- Building awareness through journaling.
- Serving your community, spending time in nature, appreciating music and the arts.
Three common causes of spiritual distress are existential concerns, grief and loss, and isolation. Existential concerns. These concerns involve questions of meaning such as: Why is this happening to me?How do you fully awaken spiritually? ›
- Meditation. Meditation is a fundamental discipline in our noisy, chaotic world. ...
- Prayer. Prayer is the most fundamental of all spiritual disciplines because it is our way of communing with God. ...
Spiritual Growth and Progression
This gradual growth generally involves three stages of development: the purgative stage, the illuminative stage, and the unitive stage. While these stages are not perfectly linear, they tend to mirror the stages of our human development: childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Nietzsche, a wise man himself, famously remarked that what does not kill us, makes us stronger. Suffering can make us more resilient, better able to endure hardships. Just as a muscle, in order to build up, must endure some pain, so our emotions must endure pain in order to strengthen.
The cross probably is the most easily recognized and widely known symbol in all the world. It can be seen everywhere in human culture and history. It is so simple that we overlook its importance.What does Jesus say about suffering? ›
In the face of human suffering, rather than asking why, Jesus swung into action and healed all kinds of sicknesses; he raised the dead and consoled the afflicted and comforted the broken-hearted; he forgave sinners, liberated those in the power of the devil, and welcomed the oppressed and rejected (Cf. Matthew 9:35).How does God comfort us in the midst of suffering? ›
God comforts us through the Bible and also through prayer. While he knows the words we will speak before we ever say them and he knows even our thoughts, he wants us to tell him what is on our mind and what we are worried about.What is God's purpose in your pain? ›
2 Corinthians 1:6 -7 (TLB)
God expects you to use your pain to help others. Whatever mistake, failure, trouble, trial, or bad decision you've experienced, God says, “I'll still use it for good in your life. And I expect you to use it to help others.” This is called redemptive suffering.
2 Corinthians 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.What is the prayer for things you can't control? ›
ACCEPT the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; And WISDOM to know the difference.What is a powerful prayer for pain? ›
I come to You now asking that You would work a full recovery in my body - whatever is causing this persistent problem. I pray that You would, in Your mercy, give me back the health and strength I need. Guide me along the path that You have planned for me.How do I turn my pain into power? ›
- Let your voice be heard. ...
- Step out of your comfort zone. ...
- Practice resilience. ...
- Create a positive environment. ...
- Take time for self-care*. ...
- Take time for self-reflection. ...
- Strength in numbers. ...
- Change your perspective.
- Lower your expectations.
- Ask others to help or assist you.
- Take responsibility for the situation.
- Engage in problem solving.
- Maintain emotionally supportive relationships.
- Maintain emotional composure or, alternatively, expressing distressing emotions.
There are many different conceptualizations of coping strategies, but the five general types of coping strategies are problem-focused coping, emotion-focused coping, social support, religious coping, and meaning making.
Eat healthy, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and give yourself a break if you feel stressed out.How does God want us to deal with anxiety? ›
Lay Your Burdens Down. As a Christian, don't fight or wrestle with your fears, hand them over to Jesus, moment by moment. Take time to read through Romans 5:1-6 and 1 Peter 1:1-7. Take the opportunity to challenge yourself to grow deeper in your faith.How does God say to handle anxiety? ›
Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
How do we send our anxiety to God? First, Conclusively: “cast” refers to “once and for all, throw our burdens to Jesus!” When the worries of life press us down, we do not have to bear them! Thank God, He is willing to carry our load. Thirdly, notice “all your anxiety.” He tells us to give Him everything!How do you release trauma from your mind? ›
- somatic exercises.
- mind-body practices.
- somatic experiencing therapy.
Initial reactions to trauma can include exhaustion, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, numbness, dissociation, confusion, physical arousal, and blunted affect. Most responses are normal in that they affect most survivors and are socially acceptable, psychologically effective, and self-limited.What is PTSD spiritual? ›
Traumatic distress has been reported to be associated with spiritual alienation, which is defined as a separation from God, the transcendent, or the divine. The ability to make sense of a traumatic event in a way that “fits” with one's previous beliefs has also been reported to lead to posttraumatic spiritual growth.What are 3 examples of spiritual? ›
- Asking deep questions about topics such as suffering or what happens after death.
- Deepening connections with other people.
- Experiencing compassion and empathy for others.
- Experiencing feelings of interconnectedness.
- Feelings of awe and wonder.
A spiritual experience is described as an incident that goes beyond human understanding in how this experience could have happened in the first place. These types of experiences include situations like dodging death when you were in an otherwise dangerous scenario or unexplainable monetary gain.What is spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity? ›
When spiritual practice is used to sidestep real-world challenges and unrest, whether internal or external, and when we advocate the use of positive thinking to mask injustice and genuine challenges, we are entering the territory of spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity.
- Developing a purpose in life.
- Having the ability to spend reflective time alone.
- Taking time to reflect on the meaning of events in life.
- Having a clear sense of right and wrong, and acting accordingly.
- Having the ability to explain why you believe what you believe.
The values of truths, peace, love, righteousness, and non- violence are found in all major spiritual paths, these spiritual paths are also human values and the fundamental roots of a vibrant, healthy and viable work career.What are the three pillars of spirituality? ›
If you take a moment to revisit the three pillars of spiritual well-being—relationships, values, and a meaningful purpose in life—you will see that these aspects are interwoven through the passages of each season (Seaward, 2007).What happens to the brain during spiritual experiences? ›
These findings tell us that spiritual experiences shift perception, and can moderate the effects of stress on mental health. This study saw decreased activation in the parts of the brain responsible for stress and increased activity in the parts of the brain responsible for connection with others.What are some spiritual struggles? ›
Spiritual struggles can involve struggles with supernatural agents (deities or demons), struggles with other people or with institutions over religious or spiritual matters, or struggles within oneself regarding morality, doubt, or ultimate meaning in life.What is pseudo positivity? ›
To break it down to simple terms, the excessive and almost obsessive need to push aside all negative emotions and embrace fake positivity is what we refer to as pseudo-positivity.How do you release toxic thoughts? ›
- Observe your thoughts. The first step to overcome toxic thinking is to recognize the thoughts as they occur. ...
- Practice self-compassion. Remember that you are your own worst critic. ...
- Set an intention. ...
- Incorporate mindfulness meditation into your schedule. ...
- Journal daily.
- Take a step back. First and foremost, it can be helpful to remember that you are not your thoughts, you're simply holding onto them right now. ...
- Acknowledge them. ...
- Feel into them. ...
- Thank them and make room.
- Humble Yourself and Pray.
- Read and Study Your Bible.
- Join a Group of Like-Minded Believers.
- Do for Others.
- Seek Out Your Spiritual Gifts.
- Connect with your faith community. According to a Gallup study, 43% of Americans say they belong to a church or other religious body. ...
- Volunteer or help others. ...
- Practice yoga. ...
- Meditate. ...
- Keep a journal. ...
- Spend time in nature. ...
- Focus on your hobbies. ...
- Speak with a chaplain or someone you trust.
These include social, emotional, environmental, intellectual, spiritual, physical and occupational.