How to use the push/pull method to get your ex back (2023)

Today I am going to talk about the push and pull technique to get your ex back.

First, let's define what I mean by the push and pull technique, in case some of you are not clear about it:

With the push/pull technique, you intentionally send mixed messages to your ex.

One moment you might be saying something that might make her read between the lines and feel like you care, and the next moment you're doing the opposite.

Don't worry if this still seems a bit confusing; I have an analogy that might help clarify things further.

As I always see the push/pull technique

I've always thought of the push/pull technique as similar to fishing.

If you've fished before, you know that when you throw your line in the water and get a fish to bite, the worst thing you can do is uncoil it right away.

Pulling back in a hurry makes it easier for the line to break or for the fish to escape.

Experienced anglers therefore use a technique similar to the push and pull concept, where they pull the fish in and then let go a little and then pull it back again and again, increasing the intensity of their pull each time.

This almost always works to keep the fish perfectly hooked!

When it comes to push/pull disconnects, I see people constantly facing two problems:

  1. Not knowing when to use the method
  2. Not knowing what a good push or pull feels like when it comes to getting your ex back.

Let's discuss each of them, starting with the right time to use the method.

How to use the push/pull method to get your ex back (1)

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(Video) Push Pull Technique To Get Your Ex Back | Will It Work On Your Ex?

When should I use the push/pull method?

Once people hear about this method, they want to try it on their crush or ex-boyfriend immediately after a breakup, but the timing of using the push/pull method is extremely important to your overall success.

You can't rush the method if the timing isn't right.

You must meet both of these requirements

There are actually two prerequisites that you must meet before trying the push/pull method:

1. You must have successfully completed a no contact rule.

For the average person, the push/pull method is a great way to flirt that can start right away, but your situation when you're trying to win your ex back is completely different. You must complete your contact blockbefore trying to start this method.

If you don't wait for the lockdown to complete, neither you nor your ex will have the emotional clarity and detachment needed to create the kind of flirtatious and unsafe environment that the push/pull method needs to create function.

The no-contact time gives you time to think and some distance that makes every shot even more impactful.

2. You must have somehow successfully spoken to your ex after the lockdown

(Video) The Push/Pull Technique To Get Your Ex Back

Situations can vary from person to person, so it makes sense that someone who uses this method to flirt with someone who is interested in them would be more successful than someone who does it with their ex-boyfriend without successful conversations tried out .

A successful conversation in this context simplymeans they answer, and the answers are not monosyllabic or disinterestedly veiled. Responses should be consistent and engaging for a short period of time to give you the cue that they would play along with your push/pull method.

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What does a good push/pull look like?

When dealing with this push/pull method, the most common mistake people make immediately goes to the extreme.

Imagine the push/pull method on a spectrum where the right side are people pushing and the left side are people pulling.

What do these stocks on the edge of this spectrum look like?

For people who are pushing, that means saying something like:

  • "I hate you,"
  • "leave me alone"
  • "I never want to see you again."

On the other hand, people who pull to the max would say something like:

(Video) Push Pull Flirting Method - Techniques, Examples, and Does it work?

  • "I love you"
  • "Please come back to me."

Do you see what's wrong with those two ends?

One is very clingy while the other is just downright rude.

That's why it's important to stay away from extremes.

So what does a moderate push and pull look like?

Well, you always have to start with light.

A light push just can't be instantaneousreply to your ex's messages, and a slight tug can give them a funny look or touch when you see them in person.

There are countless variations on the types of light pulls and jabs you could do rather than going into all of them. Instead, I want to give you a bird's-eye view of the entire process. Your situation is very specific and you need to do something very interesting to be successful with this method.

The big difference between your puffs and those of the average person trying to form a relationship is that you slowly increase the intensity and frequency of your puffs, while you slowly decrease the intensity and frequency of your twitches.

So, like in our fishing example, pull your ex in and then let go a bit and then pull him back even further until he's so close that he starts moving and even thinks he's doing it alone.

The goal really is to get him to a point where he thinks your pushing and pulling means you're almost ready to get back together with him, but you need him to get up and take the next step.

We all know how much men love to be the knight in shining armor, so this technique will make him think he's in charge while you're the one who primed him with your push/pull technique.

How do you know when to start the push/pull technique?

Now that you know WHAT to do, let's get to WHEN.

Finally, the wrong timing can cause your ex to not respond in the way you expected.

It all comes down to reciprocity.

If you find yourself in a situation where you try the push/pull technique and find that every time you pull him he reciprocates the behavior, this is a great time to push him out a little and push him some more withdraw .more.

(Video) Push Pull technique why and how to use it

Ultimately, how you decide when to use the push/pull method and how often you do it will depend on how likely your ex is to reciprocate your behavior.

In some rare cases, you'll find that your ex not only reciprocates your behavior but actually triggers his version of an attraction. If so, you can continue to increase the frequency and intensity of your pushes and pulls.


At the end of the day, it's like catching a fish.

How to use the push/pull method to get your ex back (3)

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Don't pull it out immediately or it will slide away.

You have to be a teaser and take your time pushing and pulling him until he's ready to come back to you.

If you do this well enough, your final nudge (which would be the smallest) might even prompt him to get back together with you like it was all his idea!


1. How To Get Your Ex Back Using The Mirror Technique : The Ultimate Tips To Get Your Ex Back
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2. Put His/Her Name Under Pillow and Speed Love One Back
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3. Push Your Ex Away & Make Her Want You
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4. 10 Ways to Stop The Toxic Push-Pull Cycle
(Lise Leblanc)
5. When Your Ex Pulls Away Don’t Give Them Space (Give Them THIS Instead)
(Clay Andrews)
6. How to Use the Push and Pull Technique With Men: Strategy Used to Make Him Fall For You
(Alex Cormont - The French Relationship Expert)
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Author: Terrell Hackett

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