How to Get an Avoider to Chase You: Relationships and Psychology (2023)

trying to find outHow to make a cheater chase youit can be a challenge. The avoidant personality likes to play hard to get and this makes it harder for them to figure out what you're up to. Unlike other types of people, avoidants enjoy short, infrequent interactions and prefer not to be involved in long-term relationships. The key is to be mysterious and listen to the responses of those who avoid you.

How to Make an Elusive Ex Chase You


(Video) This Is What Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant

if you are wonderingHow to make a cheater chase you, there are a few things you should do. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is chasing them too aggressively, which will only drive them away. Instead, try to appear mysterious and indistinguishable, as if you don't want to be disturbed. You'll have to wait a few days before you see a response from the cheater, and it might even take a while.

How to make an elusive chase you?A cheater might think you're out of your depth and over confident, so try to boost your ego. Tell him you are his only option and tell him how smart and handsome he is. Congratulate him on the goodaspectand intelligence, as this will make you feel good about yourself. This will let him know that you are interested in more than just looks.

How to make an elusive chase you?Another thing you can do is learn to read his body language. Use subtle body language to convey that you're comfortable with him, but don't ask him out right away. You'll soon see that he's less interested in you and more likely to be attracted to someone who doesn't have low self-esteem. If you're looking for a way to lure a cheater in, you'll need to be patient and show that you care.

How to make an elusive chase you?An avoidant's body language can also help you get them to chase you. An avoidant's body language will show that he is comfortable with you, while also showing that he is bored with you. Insecurity and low self-esteem will also let him know that you are not interested in a relationship. This will make you more attractive to him. However, it is important to be patient.

(Video) Do This If He Has An Avoidant Attachment Style . 7 action you have to do!

How to make an elusive chase you?The first step toattract an avoidantis to show your interest in new hobbies. Men tend to be extremely protective of women and will feel threatened if they meet another woman. That's why you should try participating in new hobbies and activities with your partner. It will keep him interested in you. If he doesn't notice you at first, he will most likely chase you. In fact, a new hobby that interests him will make him miss you.

How to Get an Avoider to Chase You: Relationships and Psychology (1)

How to make an elusive chase you?If you're a man, it's a good idea to keep your distance. This will make it harder for him to get close to you, so it's best to keep a safe distance. If you are not comfortable with this, use ordinary charms to attract your elusive. That way he will feel safe and comfortable with you. Your goal is to make him feel attractive in as many ways as possible.

How to Make an Elusive Boyfriend Miss You

If you're wondering how to make an elusive boyfriend miss you, read this article. The following tips can help you attract a man who avoids you. Using these tactics, you will be able to get a lot of attention from your boyfriend. You can make him miss you by being mysterious. Remember: avoiding people is a sign of shyness. So try not to make eye contact with them.

(Video) This WORKS all the time with an avoidant!

as for youavoidant partner, remember that they are human too and have feelings. Your fear of commitment is probably bigger than your feelings. By giving them a little push to overcome their fear of commitment, their relationship will improve dramatically. Eventually your relationship will develop into something more meaningful than before. Listed below are some of the best ways to make a cheater miss you. They will finally start communicating with you again!

First, try not to be too public. Avoiders don't like sharing personal details with you or commenting on their photos. They don't want you to know about their personal lives. It's better to keep your relationship private than to expose it to the world. By not being publicly visible, it will make your loved one miss you even more. That way, they are more likely to come back and fall in love with you.

How to Make an Avoidant Woman Miss You: Signs an Avoidant Woman Loves You

One of the biggestsigns an elusive loves youyou can't talk to them. These people react to even the smallest conversation with a defensive attitude and act as if they are attacking you. It also seems like they have no interest in your actual conversation. It is important to recognize that avoidant behavior is a habit conditioned by inconsistent parenting or loving experiences. Here are some common signs that an avoided person loves you:

You may notice that the avoidant has started to break his own rules for you. They may not realize they're breaking boundaries, but they will. They will ask you to delay intercourse or take it easy. They will likely leave you alone most of the time, including most of your personal space. You might also spot these habits if you're in a relationship with someone who avoids you. If your partner has these traits, it's very likely that he wants to commit to you.

(Video) How to Get an Avoidant EX to CHASE You! *Do THIS Instead*

Another common sign of an avoidant's love for you is that they won't be as committed as you are. He could send passionate texts all night, answer your calls silently, and respond to your jokes with "haha!" He will not introduce you to his family or friends. And he can't hold your hands in public, even when you ask him to. Ultimately, it's your choice whether you want to pursue a commitment-averse relationship.

Dating someone with avoidant attachment issues

Although the odds of you dating someone withavoid fixing problems, it's also a fact that you probably do. This type of relationship has its advantages and it is quite possible to develop a loving and satisfying relationship with one. But first, you'll need to do some groundwork to make the relationship successful. You'll need to learn to respond to your triggers and be patient, but don't push yourself with them.

First, it is important to understand that love for oneavoidant attachment coupleit may not be as easy as it seems at first glance. They may not talk about it, but they are certainly receptive to physical affection. If you're dating someone with avoidant attachment issues, know that the relationship won't be easy, it might even be impossible. But don't give up, because the relationship can be healthy.

How to Get an Avoider to Chase You: Relationships and Psychology (2)

How to Get an Avoider to Chase You: Relationships and Psychology (3)

(Video) Stop Chasing a Specific Person and Do THIS Instead (They Will Chase You)

It is important to remember that a person with avoidant attachment is capable of deep love. If you have the courage to show your support and unconditional love to an avoidant person, he will reveal his caring nature and stop hiding his flaws. Eventually your partner will spend more time with you and talk when needed. And once they are comfortable with you, they will become more open to you. That's when your relationship will really start.


How do you make an avoidant commit to you? ›

If you want to get an avoidant to commit, you need to show them that you can be counted on. This means that you need to show up when you say you will and do what you say you're going to do. The bottom line is that you shouldn't make any promises that you can't keep and you should keep the promises you do make.

How do you manipulate a dismissive avoidant? ›

10+ Proven Ways to Deal with a Dismissive Avoidant Partner
  1. 1 Learn to understand your partner.
  2. 2 Acknowledge your own feelings.
  3. 3 Give your significant other space.
  4. 4 Focus on yourself.
  5. 5 Be open about what you want and need.
  6. 6 Be a supportive person for your partner.
  7. 7 Show your partner they can depend on you.

What does an avoidant want in a relationship? ›

An avoidant partner needs to trust that you're there for them without being overly clingy. They also tend to watch behaviors intently to believe that. So, doing things together to create positive feelings will build trust over time. Examples include reading, walking, and going to shows together, amongst others.

How do you show an avoidant you care? ›

You can provide a safe space for an avoidant person by listening to them when they open up rather than responding defensively.
  1. Physical touch and affection.
  2. Communicating when you're both calm.
  3. Giving each other personal space when necessary.
  4. Voicing issues in the moment.
  5. Taking ownership of your own emotions.
Dec 1, 2022

How do you make an avoidant miss you? ›

Give them space when they pull away. Avoidants need lots of space to feel comfortable in a relationship. Since they're afraid of commitment, spending too much time with them will make them feel smothered. When they start to grow distant, respect their need for time apart, even though it might be hard.

How do I attract back an avoidant? ›

If you want to get back together with a fearful avoidant, avoid doing or saying anything to make their anxiety worse. The goal is to make them feel safe around you, so remember to be calm, kind, and upbeat. Speak to them in a soothing tone of voice. Point out the silver lining when something bad happens.

What makes an avoidant chase? ›

Avoidants believe that no one else gets them, and they need time to themselves to organize their thoughts and feelings. It hurts, but chasing after them when they want to be alone will push them even farther away since they'll feel like their independence is threatened.

Do Avoidants miss you when you walk away? ›

Yes, the dismissive avoidant misses you, but they miss you later on. In the beginning they're going to be relieved that they have their freedom. They can get their independence back and they get to go and do what they want to do without having to answer any questions to anybody.

Why do Avoidants fall out of love? ›

Relationships are stressful to someone with an avoidant attachment style. They want connection like everyone else, but their deepest fear is that love and closeness come at the cost of personal freedom. They will worry that the other person is investing in the relationship more than they are and begin to feel engulfed.

When should you give up on an avoidant? ›

Does your avoidant partner seem like they're willing to talk anything out? Or, do they constantly make excuses, say they're tired, and put up walls? If your avoidant partner constantly finds ways to get out of deeper conversations, spending time with you, being affectionate, and having sex…it's not a good sign.

How do dismissive avoidants show love? ›

They will spend more time together with you though they may not reveal their emotions, or feel deeply. They may discourage you or move away when you share any negative emotions rather than inquire what they are really about. They will show a tendency to take things slow.

How do Avoidants end relationships? ›

Initiate the breakup & suppress negative emotions

To begin with, avoidant attachers are more likely to instigate a breakup, as they typically prefer to keep relationships on a surface level and avoid confrontations with their partners.

Do Avoidants want you to reach out? ›

They're always looking for the red flags, and they will find them, so when you go no contact with the dismissive avoidant, don't expect them to reach out to you. They won't text you because likely when you were in a relationship with them, you were the one to initiate most of the contact.

What do Avoidants do when they like you? ›

They Willingly Spend More Time With You

However, when an avoidant loves you, they will start to let you into their free time more often. Spending time with you, even if it's just doing nothing together, is a strong sign an avoidant is comfortable around you.

Why do avoidants ignore text messages? ›

During the initial stages of getting to know someone, avoidants typically avoid texting. You'll find that they don't text too much. They need time and space to get to know you before they can text you more freely. Avoid bombarding them with texts during this stage.

How do you know if an avoidant loves you? ›

One of the main signs an avoidant loves you is that they make the first move! It is unnatural to make a move on you unless they are deeply in love with you! So, if they are reaching out, try to play coy and let them show you with attention!

Will an avoidant ever commit? ›

They have an "avoidant" attachment style.

Usually, this kind of defense mechanism comes from a childhood trauma of abandonment and it means that relationships are unpredictable and temporary. An avoidant partner won't be able to commit in the long run because they simply can't maintain relationships for that long.

Will an avoidant reach out after no contact? ›

They're always looking for the red flags, and they will find them, so when you go no contact with the dismissive avoidant, don't expect them to reach out to you. They won't text you because likely when you were in a relationship with them, you were the one to initiate most of the contact.

Do Avoidants return after no contact? ›

We have found that on average a fearful avoidant will not initiate a reconnection with you. However, there is a window of time where they do consider it and if you time it right you can get them to come back if that's what you want.

How long does it take for an avoidant to miss you? ›

An avoidant will miss you, the moment they realize that they have lost you forever. This is not easy for them too because at one moment everything is lovely for them. What is this? They want to get to know you more, but when the connection feels too heavy for them, they backup.

Who are Avoidants attracted to? ›

Love Avoidants often are attracted to Love Addicts — people who are fixated with love. One characteristic of both attachment styles is the fear of authenticity and vulnerability within a relationship.

How long is no contact dismissive avoidant? ›

As far as the dismissive more specifically, most likely they'll just fade to black and you won't hear from them after that first month. Around almost a two month mark is when the dismissive avoidant is going to really start to feel things. They are going to start feeling the breakup.

What triggers avoidant personality? ›

Avoidant Personality Disorder Causes and Risk Factors

Having another mental health condition like depression or anxiety. A family history of depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. Childhood abuse, trauma, or neglect. Trauma including suffering an extreme incident of ridicule or rejection in childhood.

Why do Avoidants jump into relationships? ›

A dismissive-avoidant person likes to hop from relationship to relationship and can never settle down because they are too afraid to let someone in. The best thing you can do to deal with an avoidant ex is to adopt a secure attachment style, so you have the fortitude to deal with whatever happens.

How do you make a dismissive avoidant ex miss you? ›

Stop any and all forms of direct communication with your ex

If you're constantly flooding them with messages that express how you miss them, they'll be tempted to avoid you even more. So, stop communicating with your avoidant ex. It'll give them time to process their feelings and determine how they feel about you.

Do Avoidants actually care about you? ›

Avoidants tend to not want to give anything or anybody their time or their energy. If it doesn't serve them any purpose, they won't do it. So if they are with you and they are giving you their time, that is a really good indication that they care about you and they are putting you as a priority.

Do Avoidants regret pushing you away? ›

The fearful avoidant will typically go through a period of euphoria after a breakup due to their newfound freedom from the confines of the relationship. However, that doesn't mean they won't eventually regret the breakup.

Why do avoidant attachment push people away? ›

Individuals with fearful-avoidant attachment push people away due to an intense fear of rejection. In this case, the act of pushing people away is done out of fear and not because of trying to maintain independence. They desperately want to feel connected but have a hard time trusting others.

Do Avoidants deny their feelings? ›

As such, individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to deny feelings and take their sovereignty to an extreme. They don't rely on others and don't want others to rely on them, they keep their innermost thoughts to themselves, and they find it difficult to ask for help.

Do Avoidants feel heartbreak? ›

The dismissive avoidant tends to ruminate on the break-up for quite a while. To the anxious preoccupied, that's going to look to them as if the person just doesn't care, but that's not the case. They need the time to sit with their feelings and understand if the break-up was an overreaction or not.

What happens when you stop chasing an avoidant? ›

Dismissive avoidants grow up to become distant, unapologetic, and selfish. They might never come back to you if you stopped chasing them. They choose to have countless flings/one-night stands/casual dating because they think it's impossible to fall in love and commit to the person.

What makes an avoidant return? ›

What makes fearful avoidants come back? Fearful avoidants usually back out of relationships because they feel overwhelmed, unheard, or distrustful. If you're considering getting back together, the best solution is to sit down with your partner and nail down exactly what went wrong.

What do dismissive Avoidants want in a relationship? ›

Highly self-sufficient.

This is the #1 characteristic of someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style. They don't want to depend on you and they don't want you to depend on them. They want their freedom and independence and want (or at least think that they want) you to be the same way.

What triggers a dismissive avoidant? ›

Avoidant / dismissive adults still self regulate in unhealthy ways; they might feel threatened by triggering dating or relationship situations, such as a partner trying to get emotionally close, and they might shut down their emotions in an attempt to feel safe and avoid feeling vulnerable.

What does a dismissive avoidant want from a partner? ›

Dismissive avoidant want support, period. Support is huge for them whether it's family, friends, or their romantic partner. They want somebody who's gonna always be there for them and that will give them some advice.

Do avoidants regret ghosting? ›

Yes. Some dismissive avoidants feel regret the break-up as soon as it happens, especially if they had formed some form of attachment. Some dismissive avoidants try to get back together right after the break-up and other's offer a friendship out of regret.

How do you get an avoidant ex to chase you? ›

10 ways to make an avoidant individual chase you
  1. Don't chase the avoidant. The very first thing you have to do when it comes to learning about how to get an avoidant to chase you is to stop chasing that avoidant person. ...
  2. Stay mysterious. ...
  3. The waiting game works. ...
  4. Give them space. ...
  5. Patience is crucial. ...
  6. Don't rush them.
Feb 2, 2022

Why do Avoidants distance themselves? ›

In general, avoidant adults tend to be emotionally unavailable. They put distance between themselves and their partner, because of discomfort with too much closeness. Why? They have likely been taught that talking about feelings is unacceptable and would lead to being burdensome.

Do Avoidants like hard to get? ›

Avoidant people tend to be playing hard-to-get, and anxious people are pursuing them. The nice thing is it's compatible.

How long should you give an avoidant space? ›

A fearful avoidant leaning anxious will probably need more check-ins. If your fearful avoidant ex doesn't respond to a check-in, respect that they need a few days of space and reach out again 5 – 7 days later. The maximum times to reach out with no response is 3 over several weeks.

Do avoidant people want relationships? ›

For this reason, avoidant attachers usually prefer to avoid situations in which they are expected to be open and vulnerable. It's not that they don't want loving relationships – it's just that it's difficult for them to give themselves over to love.

Do Avoidants get into relationships? ›

Contrary to popular belief, it's possible to have a romantic relationship with an avoidant. In fact, many people change their attachment styles over time, based on their life experiences, so you don't have to think of your partner's mindset as permanent.

Can a relationship with an avoidant ever work? ›

Anxious and avoidant relationships can thrive if each party is willing to accommodate the other's emotional needs. For example, Avoidants may need to be patient with their partners, maintain openness, and not avoid important conversations that can lead to emotional intimacy.

Do Avoidants push away people they love? ›

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

They desperately want to feel connected but have a hard time trusting others. They tend to rely on themselves and often see themselves as abandoned, but they push people away, in actuality. There is a constant fear that their partner will view them in a negative light and leave.

Why do Avoidants send mixed signals? ›

A person with an avoidant attachment style tends to be emotionally unavailable because they are fearful of opening up to others. This can result in mixed signals, because while the person may claim to want a relationship, they can be quite distant, and they may reject your attempts to connect with them.

Is an avoidant deactivating or moving on? ›

Fearful avoidants often “deactivate” their attachment systems as a result of repeated rejections by others9. When they are in distress, they deactivate their attachment behavior. Consequently, the more upset their romantic partner is, the less likely a fearful-avoidant adult is to offer comfort and support10.

How do Avoidants act when they fall in love? ›

They make an effort to connect with you

Then it is one of the important signs an avoidant loves you. If they are genuinely in love, they will occasionally text or call you and may share some good jokes. Remember, it is a stark contrast to their reserved personality! Also Try: How Well Do You Connect with Your Partner?

Do Avoidants end up alone? ›

Studies have found that avoidant attachers are less likely to date or seek relationships. In other words, they are more prone to having smaller social circles and, thus, may stay single for longer periods of time. Avoidant attachers are thus more susceptible to social loneliness and isolation.

Do Avoidants ever open up? ›

Though avoidant partners might not seem as emotionally available or connected as others, their emotions and need for connection are often the same as anyone else. With some understanding and support, it's possible for avoidant partners to open up and create greater emotional intimacy.

Who are love Avoidants attracted to? ›

Love Avoidants often are attracted to Love Addicts — people who are fixated with love. One characteristic of both attachment styles is the fear of authenticity and vulnerability within a relationship.


1. 3 Tips For Communicating With An Avoidant Partner
(Briana MacWilliam)
2. Why anxious and avoidant partners are attracted to each other and how to make it work.
3. Can You Get Back An Avoidant Ex? Yes, here's how!
4. CPTSD & Attraction to Unavailable People: An Excerpt from My Dating Course (Part 1)
(Crappy Childhood Fairy)
5. How To Make An Avoidant Ex Miss You
(Chris Seiter)
(PHOENIX GREATNESS | Narc Abuse Recovery Coach)


Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: The Hon. Margery Christiansen

Last Updated: 07/09/2023

Views: 6244

Rating: 5 / 5 (70 voted)

Reviews: 85% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: The Hon. Margery Christiansen

Birthday: 2000-07-07

Address: 5050 Breitenberg Knoll, New Robert, MI 45409

Phone: +2556892639372

Job: Investor Mining Engineer

Hobby: Sketching, Cosplaying, Glassblowing, Genealogy, Crocheting, Archery, Skateboarding

Introduction: My name is The Hon. Margery Christiansen, I am a bright, adorable, precious, inexpensive, gorgeous, comfortable, happy person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.